Stuck in Your Head? Understanding Overthinking and Rumination—And What to Do About It
We’ve all had those nights: lying in bed, replaying a conversation from earlier, analyzing what you said, what they said, what you should have said. Or maybe you find yourself mentally rehearsing worst-case scenarios, obsessively trying to figure out a solution to something that hasn’t even happened.
This is the exhausting loop of overthinking and rumination. And while it may feel like you’re “problem-solving,” it often does more harm than good.
What Is Overthinking?
Overthinking is when your thoughts spiral into repetitive, unproductive analysis. It might sound like:
“What if I mess up?”
“Why did I say that?”
“What if something bad happens?”
“What if I never figure this out?”
It can involve the past (replaying events) or the future (anticipating problems), and often feels like you're trying to think your way to safety or certainty.
What Is Rumination?
Rumination is a specific type of overthinking that involves dwelling—usually on something negative—over and over. People who ruminate tend to:
Rehash mistakes or perceived failures
Worry about how they’re perceived
Dwell on uncomfortable emotions
Feel stuck in a cycle of self-criticism or regret
Why Do We Do It?
Your brain is trying to protect you. Ruminating or overthinking can feel like a way to:
Prevent future mistakes
Find the "right" answer
Make sense of something confusing
Feel more in control
The problem? These thought loops rarely lead to insight—they tend to increase anxiety, lower mood, and leave you feeling more stuck.
What You Can Do Instead
1. Name What’s Happening
The first step is awareness. Notice when you're stuck in your head and gently label it:
“I'm overthinking again.”
“This is rumination, not problem-solving.”
Naming it helps you step back instead of getting swept up in the spiral.
2. Shift from “Why” to “What Now?”
Instead of asking “Why did this happen?” or “Why am I like this?”, shift to questions that promote action or reflection, like:
“What do I need right now?”
“What would be helpful in this moment?”
“What small step can I take today?”
3. Set a Time Limit
If your brain really wants to think something through, set a timer—say 10 minutes—to write it out or mentally explore it. When the time is up, move on to a grounding activity. This honors the need to process without letting it take over.
4. Use Grounding Techniques
Come back to the present moment with techniques like:
5-4-3-2-1 (Five things you see, four you feel, etc.)
Focusing on your breath
Engaging your senses with a warm drink or stepping outside
5. Practice “Thought Defusion”
From a mindfulness or ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) lens, try seeing your thoughts as just that—thoughts.
Say:
“I’m noticing I’m having the thought that…”
This little shift creates space between you and the thought. You’re not the thought; you’re the observer of it.
6. Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life
Overthinking is often fueled by inactivity. Take one small action, even if it’s unrelated—stretching, texting a friend, doing the dishes, going outside. Doing interrupts the loop.
7. Work with a Therapist
If overthinking or rumination are affecting your sleep, work, or emotional well-being, therapy can help. Therapies like CBT, ACT, and mindfulness-based approaches offer practical tools to break free from mental loops.
Final Thoughts
Overthinking and rumination can feel like they’re helping—but they usually just drain your energy and keep you stuck. The good news? These habits are learned, which means they can also be unlearned. With curiosity, compassion, and practice, you can build a different relationship with your thoughts.
You don’t have to believe everything your brain tells you!
